Early Risers

The coffee maker is trickling thanks to the early morning ministrations from Emily at an hour unspeakable to most people.  She’s already left for work, but Lorraine and the third housemate are just rising, shortly before 6am.  After letting the dog out Lorraine starts to pour herself some coffee when she hears the doorknob turning behind her.  She pauses mid pour and looks up into the window that reflects the unfolding scene.  She’s seen this occurrence innumerable times, but either out of fear or amusement, she cannot look away.

It’s dark outside so the window reflects the bedroom door slowly opening outwards.  It’s an old house and the door was put in backwards many decades ago.  The lock is on the outside which makes you wonder if it was intentional.  There’s a silhouette in the doorframe, darkness surrounding her.  One can almost imagine a bolt of lightening in the background.

The silhouette emerges into the harsh light coming from the kitchen and begins the slow shuffle to the bathroom door.  It is only six feet away but it might as well be a mile.  She stoops at the shoulders and her eyes are almost entirely shut.  Coordination is minimal so care must be taken in the long journey from bedroom to shower.

At this point Lorraine realizes that the shuffle has stopped short of the bathroom door and the stooping, squinting creature is staring at her.  Oh dear, she must have a question.  Lorraine turns around, coffee in hand, waiting for the pending discussion.

2 seconds, 5 seconds, 10 seconds pass.  Finally, the creature manages to croak out a question about the day’s schedule as it concerns Lorraine.  The question is not fully formed since mental coordination seems to be keeping pace with physical coordination.  Fortunately however, Lorraine can fill in the gaps and mercifully gives a one word answer.  At first it seems the creature is not satisfied with the answer as she continues to stand and stare through puffy eyelids.  Eventually it sinks in however and she gives an almost imperceptible nod and turns to finish the shuffle into the bathroom.

Irritated or amused, depending on the morning, Lorraine finishes pouring her coffee.  She knows that in less than 15 minutes her housemate will emerge from the bathroom a human being: alert, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed.  Reveling in this amazing transformation, she continues with her morning routine.

Early birds may get the worm, but early grasshoppers need a shower first.